I benchmarked which of 18 AI models writes the least like "AI slop"

If you write with AI you already know the tells: the throat-clearing opener, the tidy rule of three, "it's not just X, it's Y." But I was curious to see statistically what models actually produced the most slop, so I made my own opensource benchmark: theslopindex.com Here's how I came up with the benchmark. 1) The Baseline: Slop can only be measured compared to stuff that already existed. So I got corpus of data for various areas of writing (email, social, chat, and essays) so that each has a human baseline. 2) Tasks I then hand-wrote 112 written scenarios for the models to egenerate outputs to across email, Slack, social media posts, and essays (a cold email, a schedule change, a launch tweet, an argumentative essay, etc). Every model gets the identical scenarios at default settings, several samples each: and you can see all the exact outputs in my Github repo. 3) Axes Now for how to decide to measure slop we settled with 5 dimensions. - Conciseness (one of the most annoying parts of AI writing is how it takes 6 paragraphs to say 2 sentences) - Templating (AI often reuses the same sentences/styles across unrelated scenarios) - Rhythm (Variance in sentence/paragaphs, humans often switch this up while models stay p similar) - Tells (Over used vocab and construction for stuff like "delve", "it's not just X, it's Y") - Human Preference (I think this is most important as everything else are just heuristics for this) Note how we DELIBERATIVELY don't have any LLM judging, I think it'd be pretty stupid to have LLMs judge LLMs Now for the results What really surprised me is how human preference influenced the rankings heavily. When looking at only the "mechanical" part. Fable is actually #2 on the benchmark, but when I included human preference it drops to last . And I think this is indicative that as the models more recently have become more benchmark optimized, they've actually produced more slop than less. Which is where good prompting, harness, and more matter. But eith