Replacing Myself With AI, One Cognitive Habit at a Time

I have no idea what I'm f*cking doing. Something I figured out today: I do not start with the dark version of an idea. I start with a random curiosity, chase it because it is interesting, and then somewhere in the middle I look up and go: oh. This could turn bad. And it is probably already turning bad somewhere, run by someone who never bothered to look up. That happened again this week, while I was thinking about what I want my memory system to do next. So let me walk through the curiosity, and then the exact moment it flipped. AI memory is mostly boring Useful. But boring. Most memory systems store things like: what projects you are working on what tools you use what your preferences are what decisions you already made what facts should survive between sessions I built one of these. It is called mycelium. Connections between memories get stronger when I use them and fade when I do not, so it is a little more alive than a notes file. But at the end of the day it stores what I know. So an AI plugged into it eventually learns: I use Proxmox. I prefer LXC for a lot of workloads. I am building an operating system. I like local-first systems. I am suspicious of unnecessary dependencies. Cool. Accurate. Still not the thing I actually care about. It captures what I know. It does not capture how I think. And more specifically, it does not capture how I become curious. Humans randomly wonder about shit At least I do. I will be working on something unrelated and suddenly think: Wait, why does this work like that? Then: Has anyone tried it differently? Then: Is this whole abstraction actually necessary? And three hours later there is a new project directory on my machine and I am questioning all of my life choices. An LLM can generate questions if I ask it to. That is not the same thing. What it does not have is the persistent causal chain that led me, specifically, to ask certain kinds of questions over and over. A human brain does something like: event ↓ this feels weird ↓